i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
