I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She's the barista slut.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
