Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude i'm inner monologue high
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
