Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
