She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
