some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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