thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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