My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
