So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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