when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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