I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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