i permit you to call me
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
