Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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