he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I've blown a few things in my day
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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