Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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