Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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