I think I am morally bankrupt
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dignity is for republicans.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
