i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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