why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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