We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I love black thongs
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
