Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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