Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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