In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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