I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
