i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
