I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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