im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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