So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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