We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
