how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
