this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
