My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
