People with herpes should wear stickers.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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