She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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