nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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