Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
