where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
