Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
