just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
