I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
