I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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