Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
