I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize