You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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