Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
