I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
