I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
