i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
