HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
