This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
