Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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