I didn't shave. On purpose
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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